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| Contemporary Issues Kou Xiong's Family Search For a Land of Choices By Kou Xiong Keywords (Ntsiab Lus): migration, family history, historical consciousness, teaching Hmong culture and history While living as refugees in Thailand, my parents made the choice to come to the United States after the first anniversary of their wedding. "I wanted my children to have a better life than mime,"said my mom. She believed that America, the Land of Choice as she calls it, will offer her and her children more opportunities and a better future. Chia, my father, was born and raised in Long Cheng, a city that had served as a refugees camp during the Secret War in Laos. It was his city, his home where he had been living with twelve siblings, six brothers and six sisters. In his family, he was the fifth son. As teenager at the age of twelve, Chia had already learnt from his father how to hunt for food. Alike any Hmong family, my family had a simple and rustic life where food was limited to the crops they cultivated in the mountains and to the livestock. As he was born during the war time, that explained why my dad has dreamt of a land, a peaceful place or a country where he would live in peace, have the choice and the chance to educate his children. "My life in Long Cheng where I was born and raised, was different from our life here (in the United States). I'm happy that I brought your mother to a better place. I'm very glad that you, my children, have more opportunities here." Back in Laos, most of the children could not go to school, and so the opportunity for my father and his siblings to get a modern education that offer choices of careers and and a better life was limited. In addition, it was hard for my grand-father to send all his children to school because there were so many. He needed help at the farm and my grand-mother needed help at home. As for my mother's story, she first lived in the village of Sang Quan before moving to Na Sue. Her father led the family out of Laos in 1978 and all reached Thailand without problem. They moved to the refugee camp Ban Vinai where my father met my mother, then after married her. After a year of marriage, they did not have any child yet. My dad told my mom that he would take her to a better place to start their life together. My mother wanted to come to the U.S. She knew that things would be easier for her. She wanted to give her children things that she did not have. In August 1980, they finally left the refugees camp for America. "I was so excited that I could not sleep. I was ready to go. I wanted to come!" said my mom. While walking toward the buses, my family felt anxious, doubting and wondering if it was true. But the concrete buses standing in front of them insured all that it was not a dream. They were really leaving. "The buses were so big. I saw so many people peeking out of the widows. I knew that it was the buses that we were going to take." There were many people waiting for the buses. The departed ones had tears of happiness, but also tears of sorrow because they were leaving relatives and friends behind; however, deep inside, many were afraid of the unknown country. They did not know exactly where the buses were going. They were afraid that it could be elsewhere but the United States. They did not want to go back to Laos, or to be sent to Vietnam or China. My parents were so grateful for being in America that they see as a promising land even if they were also saddened by all their loved ones left behind. It was a complex feeling of guilt: they wanted to go somewhere else, but at the same time, it was very tough to leave their relatives in Southeast Asia. My mom still remembered the departure day, "I just wanted to pack everything that I could but in my heart, I felt so sad because I was not sure if I could see my family again." My parents arrived in the United States at the airport of Minnesota. They did not know at that time that relatives were excitedly and patiently waiting for them at the entrance. "When we got off the plane, I was so glad. It was a long trip; I had had a headache sitting down and hearing the plane flying in the air. I wanted to get out as soon as possible", my father was laughing while recalling his souvenirs. My father's family came to greet them. He was so happy to introduce my mom, their new daughter-in-law, to them. Once out of the airport, they saw many things that they had not seen before. It was the first time they saw African Americans, Mexican Americans, and other people of different ethnicity. They saw tall buildings that scared them a little bit because they were afraid that they might collapse. They also remarked the different lifestyle: clothings, eating ... that are very differently from where they came from. They had been living in Minnesota for about two years. Two first children were born there, my eldest sister Bee in 1981 and my brother Xao in 1982. When Xao was four month old, my parents decided to move to Fresno, California. In 1983, my mom gave birth to my brother Chia, then in 1986 to Peter. I was born in Fresno in 1987, at the Fresno Community Hospital. My sister May came after me in 1989. My mom also had another daughter a year after, but she passed away before my mom could take her out of the hospital. In 1990, my mom had her last child, my youngest sister Nou. As I began school, my parents decided to move to Tulare, a small city of about 30 minutes drive from Fresno because they felt at that time that a big Hmong community was not a safe place to raise several children because of gang issues. It was in Tulare that I graduated from high school in 2005. My sisters May and Nou, are currently the last ones attending high school. May will be soon graduated from Tulare Union High in 2007 and Nou in 2008. "Coming to America is the best choice that we've made, concluded my father. I'm glad that my children all work and go to school. They do not have to struggle with everyday life on the fields trying to bring enough food like back then". The feeling that my family has toward this experience is gratitude. When they first arrived in this country, they have experienced language barriers. However, they have managed to live through the rough times of miscommunication. Now, they can understand English better even if it is still hard for them to speak to us. The country that my dad called "the Land of Choice" was really a place where he has made many important decisions. He said he never regretted any of them. He has done mistakes, and repeating the same mistakes, faced miscommunication. But after all, he has learned to mover forward, and to trust life. "If it is to do again, I will do it without any hesitation", he said. The text has been written for the ASAMER10 course at Fresno City College during Fall 2006. It has been edited by Dr. Kao Ly Yang. Some of the names have been changed in order to preserve Kou Xiong's family privacy. A big thank you to Kou Xiong for allowing me to publish it in my website www.hmongci.com in order to offer authentic witness on the Hmong Contemporary Experiences. Copyrights © Fall 2006 Kou Xiong All rights reserved. BACK TO THE TOP |
| TOPICS OF 2006 January Tsab rau Tsab Mim Xyooj Lettre ouverte à Chamee Xiong, la plus célèbre chanteuse hmong The Open Letter to Chamee Xiong, the Most Famous Female Hmong Singer February Kuv tus Phauj Nyob Asmeslivkas Teb thiab "cov nkauj laug" Ma Tante d'Amérique et les "vieilles filles" My Aunt from America Handling the "Old girls" Ib tug ntxhais kev hlub rau nws leej niam Les soins d'une fille à sa mère A Daughter's Care for her Mother March Qav Xav Loj li Twm La Grenouille qui désire devenir aussi grosse qu'un boeuf The Frog who aspired to become as big as the Ox Cov lus, cov duab thiab cov siab tuaj koom lub rooj sab laj poj niam hmoob Paroles, photos et sentiments à propos de la conférence sur les femmes hmong Words, pictures and feelings at the Hmong Women Conférence, Minnesota 2005 May Taaj kev zais siab tsis pab nws tus kheej rov ua neej Les mensonges de Taah à propos de son divorce ne l'aident pas à trouver son intégrité Taah's Lies about her Divorce Kept her far from her Integrity Guest Writer: Lindy Lee-Her Hmoob Nkes: Thaum txij neej rov nyiam txiv neej,poj niam rov nyiam poj niam Gay et lesbians Hmong en Amérique Hmong Gay and Lesbians Phauj Xis raug muag ua niam peb Ma tante Sy a été vendue comme troisième épouse Aunt See had been sold as a third wife June Guest Writer: Lig Vaaj Xub Thoj Lub Neej Ua Yeeb Yam Kiab Un morceau de l'histoire du développement du cinéma hmong: Su Thao A Piece of the Making of Hmong Films: Su Thao Tsheej Kim, Tus neeg hu xov Tooj tsis tseg L'homme-Chencki The Chencki-man, the night caller July Tus txiv neej uas hais lus rau cov tsawb L'homme qui parlait aux bananiers The Man Who Talked to the Banana Trees, August Raug dab thawj thiab los sis siab phem xwb? Possédé par un démon de chagrin ou simple méchanceté? Possessed by a Lost Spirit of Grief or Simple Wickedness? September Guest Writer: Npoos Xyooj (Bong Xiong), Young Master of Hmong Wedding Kab Tshoob Kev Kos: Piav Txog Tshoob Coj Le mariage traditionnel: le cas du mariage par fuite Traditional Wedding: the case of marriage by elopement November Guest Writer: Kou Xiong Kub Xyooj Tsev Neeg Kev Nrhiav ib Lub Teb Chaw uas Muaj Kev Yeej Pheej La recherche d'une terre de choix par la famille de Kou Xiong Kou Xiong's Family Search For a Land of Choices December Niam Nkauj Kab Yeeb La rencontre avec la déesse miséricorde Guanying. The Meeting with Guayin, the Goddess of Mercy. |
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