Hmong Wedding Issues: Female Hmong Student Answered Ann April 2003

HMONG WEDDING ISSUES:
A FEMALE HMONG STUDENT ANSWERED ANN

To read Ann's Story, click here

S. wrote:
Dear Dr. Kao Ly Yang,
I am writing to tell you about how touching your story about Ann PajYeeb was for me. I am currently a [x]th year student at [Name of the University] and I was just in the process of researching some information on the internet when I ran across your website. Somehow, it led me to Ann PajYeeb's story and I've been sitting here for the past 30 minutes reading it. I have to say that I am not emailing you an ending to the story because I have no clue how the story should end. I guess it is because I feel like I am just like Ann and I am at a point in my life where I don't know which path to take ... just like Ann. As I was reading this story, I became very aware that everything she had experienced, I am experiencing at this very moment. I know that this is fictional story based upon your many interviews with young Hmong women, but it's very real to me and it hits home hard. Thank you for sharing this story. But one thing ... what happens in the end?
Very intrigued, S.

From: Kao-Ly
To: S.
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 10:53:00 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: Response to Ann PajYeeb's Story...

Dear S.,
Your answer touched me a lot. As other young Hmong women have written to me, this story seems in fact having many things in common with your story. Life is strange, right? I am writing the end of Ann's story now, and please feel free to keep coming to visit my website so that you will know the end. By the way, is it possible for you to allow me to attach your message below to Ann's story? I will delete your name and things that may make people know you. My purpose in writing this story is to make people become more aware of Hmong women issues. So your answer will give another dimension on Hmong women's issues in America. What do you think? Thanks for sharing. Nkauj Hli

From: S.
To: Kao-Ly
Wed, 16 Apr 2003 23:56:05 -0700

Dear Kao-Ly,
Sorry for the late response, but I have been very busy these past few days and I haven't gotten the chance to write back to you until now.
Yes, I would feel very honored if you were to post up my response to Ann PajYeeb's story on your website! I wanted to add to what I wrote in the last email, that I feel just like Ann because I am at a point in my life where I am torn between what I feel my family expects me to do and what I really want to do. The only thing is, I don't know what I want to do? Do I want to be a good daughter and listen to my parents? Or should I disregard what they say and do what my heart really feels?; Sometimes, the hardest thing is deciding whom to make happy. Them or me?

I've come to realize, that in the end, no matter which path I chose, someone will always be unhappy. Either I will have to settle for less and make my parents happy. Or my parents will have to settle for less than what expected so that I can be happy. But I realize that I can never be truly happy if my parents are not. So it seems like this is a lose/lose situation. No one really wins in the end. Is this my fate? I hope not. Maybe there will be an ending that will make us all happy. Who knows? Only time will tell.

S

OTHER COMMENTS ON ANN'S STORY
OTHER STORIES
HOMEPAGE

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CONTENTS

Exploring: Current Experiences

Challenging: Women Issues

Reading: Research Articles

Learning: History

Guessing: Proverbs & Riddles

Studying: Literature & Poetry

Visiting: Photo Gallery

Admiring: Art Gallery

Listening to: Hmong Radios

Enjoying: Tales for Children

Taking: Courses of Cult & Language

Proposing: Story, Poetry & Artwork