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| Current Experiences: The Man Who Talked to the Banana Trees Desperately Waited For his Young Wife from Laos Sau ua lus Hmoob en français This story is not ordinary. It told the life of a man who unceasingly wishes to find sincer and lasting love. Languishing and quietly despaired, TongCheung had been waiting for something special to happen in his life. - "At my age, --he is now 51 years old-- I am not young anymore. I would like to have a young wife who will enchante my days". It was his deepest wish that he shared with the banana trees of his farm. - "I never really understood my women, he thought; I worked hard for them since we arrived in the US. I gave them all the money I had earned; I slept with them. But why did they leave me for other men? I did everything perfectly. " He wondered a lot, feeling that something was wrong with his former wives' expectations, and now worrying not to be able to satisfy a new wife. But he contradictorily knew he would need a wife, feeling extremely lonely in his mobile house on the top of a hill in the heartland of pessimism. Married twice, he has then divorced twice; he is not an ordinary man among the generation of the 70's Southeast Asian refuggees. After being left by his wives who took all the children, he wanted to die, but convinced by his siblings that life was still worhtly to live, he invested all his savings into a farm in North Carolina. - "Well, at least, all these years to pull a handbrake in a factory will serve something", he laughed at himself in his happy days. The monotony of a farmer's life near Morgantown had nothing exciting. TongCheung cultivated his farm with relentlessness, hoping to save enough money to travel to Laos where he could find a young wife. Bent days long before his tomatoes while picking one bunch after another bunch, the fruits of his hope, he kept thinking of the coming days of happiness. All the girls wanted to come to America, people said. - "I have to have a life, he said. Not matter what people will say". His brothers and sisters -- they were 10 and he was the oldest one-- did not like such a search of a young wife in their former country. Most of them said: "It is a waste of money, young girls will eat you like sticky rice. Forget about this idea, just find some young divorced women in the US. Don't spoil your life. There are not so many years to live." A few, besides, supported his project: " Let's him be; at his age, nothing worse will happen. He has raised us when our parents passed away; he has the right to be happy too. We shoud not judge him". The youngest siblings uttured. TongCheung, smiling, replied: "Yes, I have a few years to waste, and I want to waste them on whoever I want. A young wife is all what I want. She might abandon me after a year of marriage, take my savings, make me pay childcare, I don't care. I just want some real happy years. One of his brothers then advised him again: "Why don't you just marry one of the divorcees, they are numbered in the US?" "I have enough of these modern women, too complicated, incapable to think about their husband's needs, always running after whatsoever or whoever passes by. The uggly ones are not in my taste, the pretty ones have too much mouths to feed; I have enough of childcare on my own. The well-educated ones won't ever accept me. I just need, I need a single young woman still easy to teach to be a good wife", TongCheung sadly concluded. The family gathering in Fresno, California, was just a play where each one had to act his or her part. TongCheung did not say anything harsh or raugh; but he took the advices as some unbearable instults. He uttered while flying back home: "It is my life, my fate, nobody could help me. I don't care about what they said." Indeed, the conversation between TongCheung and the family dragged on; both sides were half stone-deaf. The man thought his family could not understand him; the family thought TongCheung was desperately crazy. In November 2004, TongCheung departed to Southeast Asia with $15.000 hidden in his socks, hat, coat, shirt, bell, shoes, etc. He asked one of his disable cousins to take care of his house and farm; he has harvested all the crops, cleared of the bad grass around the sugar canes, that, in his liver, he secretely reserved for his new wife if he succeeded to find one and to obtain a visa for her during his trip. After talking for a good hour to his banana trees, he packed his bags and left for the promising land. This year, all divorcees longed him during the celebrations of New Year in America where people came "to choose" husbands and wives. His friends looked for him everywhere. His brothers and sisters, ashamed of his project to marrying in Laos, whispered no word to any living souls of his trip-- the whole family would preserve its proud face, indeed. After 2 months of absence, he came back home, but with no wife. The sugar canes had grown into 5 feet tall, and the banana trees turned into a yellow-brown forest. Months quickly passed, no sign of him, outside of his house or at the neighbors'. No crops at his farm. When people drove nearby his fields, they only saw bad grasses everywhere. No tomato, no squash and no vegetable. The tall sugar canes whispered to the wind; the banana trees swang with their geant leaves, spreading the rotten odor of the fruits all over the farm and the adjacent roads. The soil was so dry, the crackes and clefts in the field, seen from the sky, smiled in an afflicting, painful and grievous face. The flowers wildly blossomedg around the house, on the walls but no noise of fan inside the house. The chickens, ducks, and pigeons freely and joyfully played in the court-yard, colored the scenery with a something of miserable and despaired. The family even worried, though hesitating, had called TongCheug a few times. He did not take the calls. Some of the sisters were thinking to fly to North Carolina, their husband had opposed to this foolish idea. It was the duties of the brothers. . Throughout the summer, the mobile house was quietly fading, becoming an abandonned place, the end of the road. The neighbours still saw the postman passed by. It was certainly for the bills. Finally, Mia, the youngest sister and her Vietnamese boyfriend flew to North Carolina in September. The disable cousin had vanished with the truck Toyota. The entrance of the house was closed, but not locked. The living-room was empty, there was nothing, not even a spoon or a plate in the cupboard of the kitchen. They stood in the main dusty room, trembling and wondering, staring at each other, then advanced towards the unique bedroom. The door was locked. They broke it, but no-one in. There was a bed, a tape reader, pictures, letters and letter-tapes, and empty sachets of Thai noodles. Not sign of her brother. Mia shook her head with fallen tears. - Let's go outside, he must be somewhere in the farm, the boyfriend comforted her. No sign of him in the small farming shelter or near the river, neither in the sugar cane nor the banana trees plots. They did not find him. They went to the neighbours, but no-one had seen him for months. Mia, tired but not hopeless, did not want to give up. The boy-friend now searched grove after grove in the sugar cane parcel while Mia sat on the stairs, trying to remember her brother. TongCheung was her father and mother at the same time when they lost their parents some 20 years ago in the Ban Vinai Refugees camp in Thailand. She was 3 years old. He was just 17. His brother was a good man, but did not have good communication skills. She knew that, but never felt comfortable to tell him. So she didn't. After she divorced her Hmong husband who beat her very often, she should have shared her thoughts about married men and women's lives with TongCheung. She now bitterly regretted not to have done so. Suddenly, her eyes were caught by the moving banana leaves that seemed smiling to the sun. She ran into the banana tree plot, and hove all the fallen leaves in the alley on the sides then saw, not far, a form of banana trunk. No banana tree had fallen, she thought. Mia approached near it, and took off one by one the yellow and brown leaves. Her brother laid down, holding some bananas. She shouted out at the top of her voice her boy-friend, who called 911 before checking his pouls, and finally started to smile at Mia. - He is alive, don't cry, he's ok. The two lovers sat down on the edge of the bed, and casted a glance at the letters and tapes. Mia took some. "The visa is in process, ... and I hope to see you soon. Don't forget to send me some money. I need some clothes", said in one letter; "I am pregnant, I miss you. No new from the American Embassy .., send me some money because my mother is sick." said in another one, ... "Send me more money, I am going to have your baby", ... "Send me more money, the baby needs food.", ... "I am going to get married with somebody else in Laos. I just want to let you. Don't send me money anymore. MaySee". It was her last letter. Mia stared at her boyfriend, angry, saddened, and distressed. No word came out of her heart. TongCheung's heart is like a banana tree, too tender to shape, too fruiting for not to tempt greeding young girls, but too narrow(-minded) and vulnerable to share his sorrow with others. TongCheung might have died of love, alone in the darkness of the bedroom, reading letters and listening to tapes from a young girl that he had married in paying a bride price of $10.000 according to Hmong wedding traditions. The bananas trees to which he loved so much to talk have saved him. Back to the Top All characters are fictional. I have invented this story to explore men's feeling and coping skills according to my understanding and knowledge of human beings' behaviors. |
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| TOPICS OF 2006 January Tsab rau Tsab Mim Xyooj, Hmoob tus Kws Hu Nkauj tus muaj npe tshaj Lettre ouverte à Chamee Xiong, la plus célèbre chanteuse hmong The Open Letter to Chamee Xiong, the Most Famous Female Hmong Singer February Kuv tus Phauj Nyob Asmeslivkas Teb thiab "cov nkauj laug" Ma Tante d'Amérique et les "vieilles filles" My Aunt from America Handling the "Old girls" from France Ib tug ntxhais kev hlub rau nws leej niam Les soins d'une fille à sa mère A Daughter's Care for her Mother March Qav Xav Loj li Twm La Grenouille qui désire devenir aussi grosse qu'un boeuf The Frog who aspired to become as big as the Ox Cov lus, cov duab thiab cob siab tuaj koom lub rooj sab laj poj niam hmoob Paroles, photos et sentiments à propos de la conférence sur les femmes hmong Words, pictures and feelings at the Hmong Women Conférence, Minnesota 2005 May Taaj kev zais siab tsis pab nws tus kheej rov ua neej Les mensonges de Taah à propos de son divorce ne l'aident pas à trouver son intégrité Taah's Lies about her Divorce Kept her far from her Integrity Guest Writer: Lindy Lee-Her Hmoob Nkes: Thaum txij neej rov nyiam txiv neej,poj niam rov nyiam poj niam Gay et lesbians Hmong en Amérique Hmong Gay and Lesbians Phauj Xis raug muag ua niam peb Ma tante Sy a été vendue comme troisième épouse Aunt See had been sold as a third wife June Guest Writer: Lig Vaaj Xub Thoj Lub Neej Ua Yeeb Yam Kiab Un morceau de l'histoire du développement du cinéma hmong: Su Thao, un artiste producteur A Piece of the Making of Hmong Films: Su Thao, An Artist Producer Tsheej Kim, Tus neeg hu xov Tooj tsis tseg L'homme-Chencki The Chencki-man, the night caller July Tus txiv neej uas hais lus rau cov tsawb. Kev siab lwj tos poj niam tuaj Asmeslivkas teb L'homme qui parlait aux bananiers, attendant désespérément sa jeune épouse du Laos The Man Who Talked to the Banana Trees, Desperately Waited For his Young Wife from Laos August Raug dab thawj thiab los sis siab phem xwb? Thaum ib tug txiv neej vwm tuaj Possédé par un démon de chagrin ou simple méchanceté? Quand un homme hmong devient fou Possessed by a Lost Spirit of Grief or Simple Wickedness? When a Hmong Man becomes crazy September Guest Writer: Npoos Xyooj (Bong Xiong), Young Kab Tshoob Kev Kos: Piav Txog Tshoob Coj Le mariage traditionnel: le cas du mariage par fuite Traditional Wedding: the case of marriage by elopement Master of Hmong Wedding November Guest Writer: Kou Xiong Hmoob Keb Ua Neej: Kub Xyooj Tsev Neeg Kev Nrhiav ib Lub Teb Chaw uas Muaj Kev Yeej Pheej Les Expériences des Hmong Américains: La recherche d'une terre de choix par la famille de Kou Xiong Hmong American Experiences: Kou Xiong's Family Search For a Land of Choices December Niam Nkauj Kab Yeeb thiab Kev ntseeg haum Hmoob Txuj Ci La rencontre avec la déesse miséricorde Guanying. Un cas d'étude du syncrétisme dans les croyances hmong The Meeting with Guayin, the Goddess of Mercy. A Case Study of Syncretism in the Hmong System of Beliefs |
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