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| SHORT-STORY My Best Friend followed by "Hmong Perception of Love and Friendship between Genders". Version française When I first arrived in the small Amtrak station of Puits-Michel, the time was splendid, and the air just smelled a wonderful taste of the mountain. The alpine landscapes used to charm me. They did not change since my last coming. This year again, my mother sent me for two months of vacation at my grandmother'. Just arrived, I dispatched at once my bag. Then, I walked with joy to a narrow path, which led me to a side of a plate where one formerly forbad me to go. Standing up, I felt the soft breeze. Watching the valley, I saw some edelweiss perched at the edge of the slope. The desire to gather them slipped in me. - It would be good to offer them to my grand-mom, I was wondering. Thus I carefully approached them, and then I leaned to size them when all-with-blow, the ground had suddenly missed under my feet. I slipped. I fell. The chance prevented me from perishing; one of my hands succeeded in catching a large root; my left foot found support on a rock. I remained, stupefied, daring not to make a movement. I was paralyzed by the fear. I was wondering whether I would hold enough longer in this position when a mocker voice made hear above me. -Again an urban girl who walks everywhere without taking guard. It is a chance that I saw you! A young man of about 15 years old drew up in the top, and smiled at me with irony. Too proud, I thought refusing his assistance. But, without asking my permission, he went down with confidence then tended his hand. - You know how to make an effort? He said to me, scornful. - Give me your hand! I gave him my hand, but by making pretence that I would not be afraid. He drew me and held me on the slope. As he disfigured me with contempt, I dared not to thank him. - At Least, she did not throw her flowers away, even if she was at the edge of death, he congratulated me. - Thanks, thanks a lot, I murmured in tending awkwardly my hand. You saved me! - No, it's nothing. You would do the same to anybody, right? - Yes! - Well, let's stop talking now, it belongs to the past, he said while lengthening on the grass, you are courageous, I like you. Let's be friends. I also sat because my legs trembled. I noticed his eyes blue as the sky, his tough but quite calm figure, and his long hair which flied with the wind. - My name is Pasha, I said, and you? - I have no name. But for you, it may be "Friend" don't care about norms! He held my hand. I gave him one of that edelweiss now faded. He took it and smiled at me with kindness. I believed he just came to accept me in his world. Then he stood up and walked toward the forest. I now had a friend. He was older than me. But age didn't matter in friendship. Some days later, I came to the same place, and I found him sitting down in the same position. He called me: - Come here, you! I'm gonna to show you something. Our first sign of friendship started in that way. When he went out, he came to the village, whistled twice and immediately, I joined it. With him, I have learned on how to whistle with a leaf. It took me along in the forest where no one penetrated yet. He helped me to find rare plants for my collection. I followed him like his shade. I physically became more flexible and nimble. He initiated me on proprieties of plants, of trees and on animals' hiding-places. I would say that we became similar. I discovered meaning of true and loyal friendship. From time to time, he asked me to talk about my city, then we started to share our lives, his in a so peaceful village and mine in a noising city. He was so close to me that a smile, a gesture or a glance was enough to make us understand each other. In the wood, he held my hand and took me in secret places where I could observe birds or animals without disturbing them. He was my best friend, the one whose name was even "Friend". Time passed too fast. It was already September, time to go back to school. I had to leave. And for the last time, I joined him in our place where we first met. I want to say good-bye. My grandmother will move out of the village and I won't ever come back to Puits-Michel. He was waiting for me, always calm. He nicely smiled at me when he saw me approaching. - I come to say goodbye. I said to him. -I know There was a long silence between us, and then I broke it. - Don't you want to give me your address? - Why? - I want to write to you. I am afraid not to come back to Puits-Michel, I explained. It diverted the head, then removed his amulet chain and tightened it to me: - Take it and when you think of me, just look at it! I feel so happy and so sad at the same time. He sacrificed his only treasure. And immediately, I took off my small gold chain, and offered it to him. My tears dropped while he remained impassive. - I offered it to you so that you will remember our friendship, I murmured sadly. He took it, and walked away like the first time when he saved my life. I hold his gift in my hands. I left Puis-Michel with sorrow even if I have experienced the most marvelous friendship in my adolescence that I won't ever forget. Short-story written in grade 8, Middle School Didérot, ZUP Nord Nîmes, France 11th April 1983 Translated from the text 'Mon meilleur ami' Reedited on 7th January 2006 Hmong Perception of Love and Friendship between Genders This adorable story of two teenagers sharing true and sincere friendship poses questions regarding Hmong notion of friendship between genders. This text has been written for more than 20 years. The idea of friendship that the adolescent I was promoted here is rather extraordinary because such a relationship is still inconceivable nowadays by most of the Hmong people. When I wrote this text, I was very young and unaware of traditional norms and standards regarding genders relationship. In Hmong culture, the normal relationship between a girl and a boy of different clans focuses on love relationship. Friendship is possible, accepted and encouraged between members of the same clan. But still, the best friendship occurs between men, direct descendants (first cousins, crossed cousins and siblings). I now take distance with my story with the eyes of an anthropologist, and I think at 16 years old, being able to conceive such a relationship of friendship without including love means changes. Indeed, I was quite acculturated, starting to believe in individual's freedom of choice. However, I also ignored Hmong standards of behaviour. I think parents have to understand the importance of friendship -- friendship without involving love in education. They have to learn to accept and to encourage true and real friendship between girls and boys. This change of nature of relationship from a established and projected love relationship between genders to "platonic friendship" may avoid many things, for example, encouragement to teenagers' marriage (nowadays, girls and boys continue to marry at the age of 14 or 15), early pregnancy, delinquency, loneliness, lack of support, etc. For Hmong community, the issue of love or friendship between genders remains a contemporary problem. I believe that the promotion of friendship between genders since childhood will enhance more tolerance and professionalism in the Hmong community in the West. Copyright © 2003 Kao-Ly Yang Tous les droits réservés |
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| TOPICS OF 2003 Janvier Kuv phooj ywg tus zoo tshaj Mon meilleur ami My Best Friend February Neeg no yeej paub tsis tag txog nws tus kheej Essai: commentaire et analyse du texte d'Alain "L'homme est obscur à lui-meme" Essay: Comment and analysis of the text of the French Philosopher Alain "Human Being is obscure to itself" February (Guest Writer: Zhang Xiao) Hmoob suav thiab Hmoob poob teb chaw puas yog tib pab t ib pawg neeg? Le fondement et les caractéristiques de l'identité miao et hmong Common basis and characteristics of the Miao and the overseas Hmong Identity April Maiv thawj tug hlub Le premier amour de May May's First Love August Poj niam kev mus ntseeg ntuj La raison de conversion des femmes hmong au christianisme A Hmong Women's Reason to Convert to Christianity Poj niam kev yeej pheej xaiv coj kev ntseeg La problématique de la liberté de croyance chez les femmes Women's Issues on Freedom of Beliefs September Kev ntsuas thiab luj khoom Quelques systèmes de mesure et de pesée Traditional Systems of Measuring and of Weighing October Paj huam hais txog cov neeg laus kev sib hlub Une histoire d'amour du troisième âge A Piece of Hmong Elderly Love November Niam Nkauj Ntsuab Paj Nra Yaj Miss Hmong Pada Yang November Kev cob qhia poj niam hmoob rov los pab haiv neeg hmoob Encouragement pour les femmes hmong aux actions collectives Encouragement for the Hmong Women to Collective Actions November Keeb Kwm Tsim txoj cai AB78 Histoire de la proposition de loi AB78 History of the Assembly Bill AB78 November Kev sib cog lus ua niam txiv sib hlub mus tas ib txhis Contract de mariage entre Nushilong et Gaojoua Marriage contract between Nusheelong and Gaojua Vim licas Saub tsis nrog hmoob nyob? Pourquoi Shao a t-il abondonné les Hmong? Why did Shao leave the Hmong people? November 24 Hmoob cov teeb meem cov loj tshaj rau xyoo 2000 Analyse des problématiques des Hmong Américains-recensement de 2000 Analysis of Hmong American most sensitive issues - Census 2000 December Kuv kev ntshaw rau peb Hmoob rau lub xyoo tshiab 2004 Mes souhaits de bonne année pour 2004: devenir conscient(e) des besoins d'éduquer une nouvelle génération de Hmong intellectuels My Wish for 2004: Becoming Aware of the Need to raise a New Generation of Hmong Intellectuals |